honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wish you could order shots online.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
