i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
