It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
