Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
