I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
