Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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