I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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