please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
