omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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