His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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