Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize