I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I can't trust your balls anymore.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
