Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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