i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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