i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
