There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
