cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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