First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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