My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
