I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
