Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
