I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I see more hoeing in ur future
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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