I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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