Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
