These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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