Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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