Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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