I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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