whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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