Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
