don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We are two peas in an std pod
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
