i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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