Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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