We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
