Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize