I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
