he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
