Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You're like the curious george of whores
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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