apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
