I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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