Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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