Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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