I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
