Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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