Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
