respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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