Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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