question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
