? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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