He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
