She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
