I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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