i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
