i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
