Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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